96705

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches watches..."

"""I have to go eat cake now"", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided."

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard. Edit 1: Why was my title and username changed?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Cold."

"Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat"

"It's hard to hate the Devil when he makes such delicious cakes."

"*sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*"

"I went to a girl and was like ""I'd like to take my rocket to Uranus"" She detached the final stage"

"I figured it out. Renee Zellweger is stuck in the longest oncoming sneeze of all time."

"A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says ""Hey, you have a steering wheel in your pants."" ""Aye,"" the pirate replies. ""It's drivin' me nuts!"""