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Joke of the Day

"Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh? Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh."

"I work hard so my dog can have a better life."

"Hey, did you guys know you can do just about anything if you use asterisks? *rides T-Rex off into the sunset*"

"What do you call a slow-learner born the beginning of August? A leotard"

"How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door."

"The hardest part about being a photographer is deciding which half of my picture to ruin with my giant ugly company watermark."

"HIV has never been THE virus to have... Because it's always been retro."

"texas humor sign inside a bar in texas reads: ""we like our beer like we like our violence, domestic."""

"How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"""I love all quilts, regardless of quality."" - blanket statement"