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Joke of the Day

"Do you know a good veterinarian? Got asked this by a friend the other day. Hey, do you know a good veterinarian? <he starts flexing his muscles> 'cause these puppies are SICK."

"Someone stole my catheter... ... they really took the piss."

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"What is the shit you didn't see? The shit you stepped on"

"If life gives you Melons... ...you may have dyslexia. (not my joke, but fun all the same)"

"What do you call a fat North Korean? Supreme Leader."

"Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell? Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones."

"When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool."

"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."

"What kind of music does a pirate like? Arrr'n'B"