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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when there's a lead singer at the door? The knocking is all out of rhythm, they can't find the key, and they never know when to come in!"

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"What's blue, and smells like red paint? Blue paint"
"I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars I wait for when someone is going to yell, ""R2!"" and yell out ""Am not!"""
"Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!"
"Anyone know the exact alcohol content of ""lady humps""? How drunk am I going to get off them?"
"What's a pirates favorite letter? If you said ""arrr"" you'd be wrong. It be the sea"
"Being a DJ is tough because sometimes iTunes won't open."
"I saw a midget carrying a TV to his car I asked him: ""Do you need some help carrying that plasma?"" He said: ""Fuck off asshole, it's an iPad"""
"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"
"Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth"