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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when there's a lead singer at the door? The knocking is all out of rhythm, they can't find the key, and they never know when to come in!"

Next Joke
 
"What is a professors favourite snack? Academia Nuts."
"*time travels an infinite number of times to stop myself from eating the pizza but every time, future me just joins past me in eating it*"
"When someone asks how I feel, I always answer ""Squishy and like I've done something wrong"""
"why can't you keep a jew in jail? they eat lox..."
"So I have a black girlfriend now ...after I severely burned my hand on the stove"
"[First Date] ""Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed"" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*"
"I'm trying to initiate a neighborhood watch program but the damn neighbors keep closing their blinds."
"Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum? Coz 'e-mmental!"
"What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand? They think long and hard before they touch weiner."