96313

Joke of the Day

"Fucking in lifts is wrong on so many levels"

"Do you think anyone has ever superglued a pair of sunglasses to their face. Wow I hope so. The ultimate level of coolness"

"Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry."

"What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !"

"What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting"

"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"

"I heard they were going to fine bad drivers $100 on the spot. That's bit sexist, isn't it?"

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leopard!"

"*walks in stumbling* Jesus, Paul how much have you had?!? ""Just a couple shots"" Oh that's not bad then *flashback to Paul injecting heroin*"

"Me: Ooh, I'd love to go to your party, but I have a dentist appointment. Her: On a Saturday night? Me: I've got really bad teeth."