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Joke of the Day

"IRS Agent: What's all this? Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks . . ."

"*bride and groom kiss* minister: wow im like right here"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his arse."

"[dentist chair] how's school? *I start talking, dentist notices his hand isn't in my mouth* oh sorry *puts hand in my mouth* how's school?"

"What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub? a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul."

"What does my penis have in common with JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America? They are all too Big To Fail."

"What phone etiquette?! You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice."

"Son: Mom mom at school they call me a liar Mom: Shut up, you dont even go to school"

"What do you call freshly made cheese? Goudas-new"

"I want to start a subreddit about erectile dysfunction, but I seem to be having a hard time getting it up."