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Joke of the Day

"I want to start a subreddit about erectile dysfunction, but I seem to be having a hard time getting it up."

"My dick is so long if I laid it on the keyboard it would stretch all the way from A to Z .... ..... .... Wait... Shit..."

"Fellas; If she doesn't call you every fcuking minute of the day, never let her go."

"Two snares and a cymbal walk off a cliff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU"

"[sees fly] Hmm... I think I'll name this creature ""Fly."" [sees bird] GODDAMMIT"

"Never marry a girl whose mother's name is Hope.... because 'Hope' never dies."

"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."

"What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !"

"why did the printing company only print in small print? because yo momma works there and she can only print in LARGE PRINT GET REKT SIT DOWN SHUT UP!"

"Has anybody ever seen the Grapefruit technique video? I heard it was directed by Phil Atio."