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Joke of the Day

"So I was eating out my Grandma... and I tasted horse cum. And I thought to myself, ""Is that how she died?!"""

"I put a black hole in my living room. It's great. Really pulls the room together."

"Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then."

"My position on marijuana is slumped in a beanbag chair."

"HR: Did you tell Brenda she was stupid? Me: Oh god no! I said she is stupid. HR... Me: There's no past tense with that one."

"You like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?! Then you'll love Aunt Jemima's new ""You Butter Recognize!"""

"How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped"

"An Egyptian man was told the river was too polluted to swim in. He refused to accept the fact, and went swimming in it anyhow. I guess you can say he was in da Nile."

"If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now."

"Wanna know how I escaped Iraq? Iran"