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Joke of the Day

"My favourite punchline is in the joke I tell blind people. They never see it coming."

"This: sentence: is: sick: it has :cancer."

"I showed my cop roommate ""Requiem for a Dream"" for the first time last night. It was so dark, he shot the t.v."

"I'm not making any resolutions this year because I'm still working on the ones from 2003."

"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"

"A new Michael Jackson album was released this week and it contains a track titled ""Do You Know Where Your Children Are?"" Even worse, the next song is called, ""Can You Give Me Directions?"""

"Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport."

"I wonder who they'll get to play the roles of ""Couch"" and ""Phone"" in the movie of my life."

"Did you know? Did you know that babies, fresh from the womb, can see all around them for 10 seconds.....after they're decapitated"

"What did the politician with a cold talk about at his meeting? The important tissues. (I know it sucks, I just made it up)"