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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally left a butt plug up her ass for 2 weeks... No shit"

"I thought my wife was super pissed at me, but it turns out she was only ""disappointed"" in me. Thank God, I definitely dodged a bullet there"

"When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there."

"What is a vampires favorite drink? ."

"Yesterday while I was talking with my girlfriend about Ebola, I asked her what she would do if I had Ebola... ""Ebola what, Cheerios?"" Best joke she's ever told"

"His palms are sweaty... His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already. WebMD: *TYPHOID FEVER*"

"Can I list french fries as my significant other?"

"How do you know if your best friend is gay? If his dick tastes like shit!"

"Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell into mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Three men taking a shower together."

"Why are fire trucks always red? You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?"