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Joke of the Day
"I accidentally left a butt plug up her ass for 2 weeks... No shit"
Next Joke
"It blows my mind that people walk around acting like Steve Harvey won't jump out from behind a bush at any moment & murder them."
"What do you call a person who kills babies and gets paid for it? An abortion doctor."
"I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat."
"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."
"I avoid checking my bank account. I just don't need that negativity in my life."
"Always borrow money from a Pessimist. He won't expect it back."
"What do you call an Indian man standing on one leg? Balan Singh."
"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? 'Cause they all have phones!"
"So I was at Ikea the other day and bought a hot dog. The weird thing is, I had to put it together myself. And when I was finished, there were all these parts left over."