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Joke of the Day
"-1 23 It was delicious."
Next Joke
"i like to write the word ""gullible"" on the ceiling then say ""hey, look it says gullible on the ceiling."" i don't really understand jokes."
"Why do giraffes have a great love life? Because they keep a good distance between their brains and their heart."
"A man walked into a bar... I ducked."
"My parents are always pestering me to have kids. ""Who will carry on the ancient family curse?"" they say."
"What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can finish a race."
"Boss: ""You're an hour late!"" Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: ""Haven't you heard?"""
"No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek."
"Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don't set the romantic mood right by curtains."
"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"