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Joke of the Day

"The Magician The magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He counted uno...dos...but he was gone without a tres."

"What do you call an abortion at Hogwarts? *Avada kedavra!*"

"The Game You just lost the game"

"TIFU by having unprotected sex. I thought the STD was standard."

"Pregnancy test that says, ""Your cart has 1 item in it"""

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because it was my first wank in two weeks."

"accidentally added a ""z"" to the end of the word ""think"" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on"

"Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife."

"I wish you were ketchup.... ...So you could squirt on my Weiner!"

"When people say ""You look so familiar"" responding with ""Were we in prison together?"" is almost always a conversation killer."