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Joke of the Day

"I'm about to have sex with my second cousin. Hopefully she's as good as the first one."

"Officer: ""Do you know why I'm standing here?"" Me: ""You got all C's in High School?"""

"What's the difference between anal and oral? Oral will make your whole day, Anal will make your hole weak"

"I'm 291 away from having 3000 followers on Twitter and 8 away from having 10 friends in real life."

"What kind of meat does a priest eat? Nun. (this one is probably a little better spoken)"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Ahh yes I can see how you would think it's the ""r"", but in fact it's tha ""C""!"

"A classic from my grandfather. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. Unique up on it."

"Have you heard? They pulled the Steve Irwin brand of sunscreen off the shelves. It didn't protect against deadly rays."

"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."

"How do Orcs eat their food? By goblin it down."