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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between anal and oral? Oral will make your whole day, Anal will make your hole weak"

"Two guys are walking when they come across a dog on the sidewalk, licking his balls. One guys says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""You better pet him first to make sure he's friendly."""

"Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk."

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 2 am this morning and said, ""Yo, I can't fcking sleep."" ""Well it's your lucky day,"" I said, ""I've got a party going on in here, come in."""

"I just got back from the proctologist, and she had a very fitting name. Dr. Anna Lee Finger"

"Hi, I'm your son's teacher, Ms. Frizzle. Funny story, your kid is dead and inside a tortoise"

"Why was the cannibal sad at dinner? Because he got the cold shoulder."

"Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*"

"People who do anal... (NSFW-ish) People who do anal are fucking assholes."

"If I had a dollar for every joke I've recycled I would have a lot since this is a popular style of joke"