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Joke of the Day

"What's a Native's 2 favourite colours? Blue and Blue Light."

"I accidentally jerked off to a picture of my mom this morning... I mean its really not my fault though, most babies look alike."

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight rises."

"White house What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful? A tourist."

"A man goes into a bakery and says, ""I'll have 99 rolls."" Says the lady behind the counter: ""Why don't you take 100, then you have one more."" ""But who's gonna eat all those rolls?"""

"I always found the movie ""The Exorcist"" confusing... It made my head spin."

"[Hot Wheels cars zooming through entire house] ""I SWEAR TO GOD KAREN IF YOU DISCONNECT ANY PART OF THIS TRACK I'M DIVORCING YOU"""

"who said math is the universal language? hey, numbers-- speak english!"

"Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture."

"Someone with a girl friend should write this in their Valentines Day card I was going to buy you a car, but I knew you'd be disappointed if I didn't give you the D."