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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally jerked off to a picture of my mom this morning... I mean its really not my fault though, most babies look alike."

"#MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'"

"one man six horses. a man was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One but he must consult the DSM-IV."

"When on a school trip, somebody pissed in the shower. It really ruined the trip to Auschwitz."

"What's the difference between beekeeping and falconry? Falconers have to be more talon-ted"

"What's an environmentalist's favorite part of a computer? The recycle bin."

"What do you call chow mein cooked in tomato sauce? impasta"

"Came home to find my refrigerator full of water It was full of leeks."

"My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic... which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim."