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Joke of the Day

"Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer."

"I wanna be the reason you're comfortable with your prostate examination"

"Just left a note on the ex's car saying ""I STILL LOVE YOU"" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep."

"Wife: Who let the boys out? Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out?! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going.."

"What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails? Yours tin-sincerely."

"I have a big butt and I can not lie."

"Why is the fridge shaking so much? It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!"

"Q: What is yellow and wears a mask? A: The Lone Lemon."

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing with my life in 5 years... I mean, come on, it's not like I have 2020 vision."

"how did I escape iraq iran"