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Joke of the Day

"Elephants and a Guy Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: ""I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"

"Did you hear about the drug addict who went to court for flipping off the cops? It was a case of two birds one stoner"

"Well this is awkward. Apparently when my wife's friend invited me over for a play-date I was supposed to bring my kids."

"Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A. To see what was on the other side."

"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""

"Why does England always get attacked in the summer? Because the Knights are shorter then."

"What does ABC stand for? American dyslexia association."

"did you hear about the kid who read a book about anti gravity? He just couldn't **put it down!**"

"Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin"

"I finally found my wife's G-spot! Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?"