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Joke of the Day

"If you have no regrets you're either a liar or an asshole."

"A horse walks into a bar... ""Why the long face?"" asks the bartender... The horse replies, ""I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City."""

"I went to a zoo the other day, all they had was a dog... It was a shihtzu. Thanks to Drinking Buddy from Fallout 4 for this knee-slapper."

"Tonight at the Who concert As the band started up ""You Better You Bet"", the guy next to me stood up to go get a drink. So I asked him - ""Not a fan of their new album?"""

"Animal Crackers... ... despised by gluten-free people and vegans"

"What do you call a lizard on drugs? A mariguana."

"Who is the original Kardashian? Saint Christopher"

"When you think your man is being romantic but really he just doesn't have electricity."

"I found out where babies come from and it's fucking gross you guys."

"So a guy gave his friend ten puns hoping one of them would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did"