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Joke of the Day

"I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave Turns out he's decomposing"

"Which came first, chicken or the egg? Neither. I came first."

"What do you call a hooker that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"

"I've decided to start a new line of 'extra-shatter' measuring sticks. Because rulers were made to be broken."

"Hmmph! I've been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me."

"Love....because sometimes life wants a tag team partner when it fcuks you."

"I'm not always sarcastic... there's a lot of times I mean every bit of what I say."

"I'm turned on by women who don't mind sucking a little dick Mine"

"There was a French chef... ...And one day he was extremely angry and said he is going to quit. Another man asked him ""why?"" Then the chef said ""All the food is out of date and I've just had un oeuf"""