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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, don't be fooled. Sometimes, your knight in shining armor, is just a retard in tin foil."

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"83% of white folks stressing about their court dates are referring to tennis."

"Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance? Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame."

"Orange is the new... most used word on /r/Jokes"

"The vast majority of spider couples met on the web."

"Well, add 'making a simple phone call' to the list of 'things that give me panic attacks'."

"If I ever have a son... I'm going to name him Bashun. And whenever our butler is unable to find him in the house he'll call out at the top of his voice, ""Master Bashun! Master Bashun where are you?"""

"I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster."

"Hey hot single dads; I wanna call you daddy too."