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Joke of the Day

"To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves"

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"What did the baker name her dog? Pido."
"I introduced my girlfriend to my family the other day. My wife was so mad."
"Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
"If i had a pound for every 'Brexit' joke on here... I'd still only have about 5 cents."
"What's the worse part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"
"Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans."
"my Playstation got stolen... i have no one to console me."
"My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking."
"Why was Ben Stein the only Jew that had prior knowledge of 9/11? Because he had clear eyes."