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Joke of the Day

"How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb? Tut-an-kham-en"

"I'm going to open up an opticians that also sells jewellery and handbags It'll be called Assess your eyes."

"So two cannibals are eating dinner... The first turns to the second man and says ""Wow, your wife sure does make a great roast!"" The second replied ""I know, I'm really gonna miss her."""

"A man walks into a bar... OUCH!!!!"

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"Nuns really stick to the rules. They have quite the habit."

"Why are there no female necrophiliacs? Because dead guys can't spend money."

"""Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"" ""you mean cheese?"" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] ""that does make more sense actually"""

"Whenever I flush a bug down the toilet, I have to watch and make sure it dosen't come back, zombie style, with revenge in it's tiny heart."

"The only lyrics I can make out in the song ""Informer"" are ""Hey farrrrmer...something....a leaky boom boom cow"". Not 100% sure though."