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Joke of the Day
"I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as ""quiet"""
Next Joke
"no no no today isnt CASUAL friday, its CAUSAL friday. evrythimg u do today has a effect. for example: johnson why r u wearing jeans ur fired"
"Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing."
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
"I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move"
"What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby? Milk and Bookies."
"Finally my winter fat is gone... Now I have spring rolls."
"I bet feminists hate pedestrian crossings... What with that red/green man telling them when they can and can't walk."
"Next time somebody calls your home phone... Say ""Can I call you back? I'm driving."""
"""Ride or die"" seems a bit dramatic. I'm looking for a ""ride or maybe go our separate ways if things aren't working out."""