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Joke of the Day

"Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?"

"What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler"

"The electoral college needs to go away. The tuition rates are out of control."

"I really love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face but with words."

"[NSFW]We should learn three things from dogs. 1. Love 2. Trust 3. Faithfulness And what we actually learn? Doggy style"

"I was interviewing a guy for a position as a dentist Turns out he wasn't very great at the job. I told him and he broke down crying. He couldn't handle the tooth"

"My girlfriend asked me if her vagina smelled like fish... I said; ""Yes, Ariel, it does."""

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !"

"What do you call an underwater dog? Scuba Doo"