94448

Joke of the Day

"A lot of things are going to change since I got my girlfriend pregnant. Including my name, address and phone number."

"Look Mr. Tech Support Dude, you asked if I had any more questions. Sorry if ""What are you wearing?"" wasn't what you had in mind."

"Ke$ha is what all drunk white girls look like to drunk black dudes."

"*Crime Scene Cop: (cuffs the dog) Detective: what the hell are you doing? Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter"

"What do you call a kitten's post-mortem? An Aww-topsy."

"If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths test I'd have about 6.30 by now"

"My career is in ruins. It's fucking great being an archaeologist."

"Maybe the dinosaur extinction was a murder suicide by the T-Rex. If I couldn't jerk off because my arms were to short I'd kill everyone too."

"Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time? No one told him he's black."

"X-post from /r/christianity t"