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Joke of the Day

"Don't Be Racist Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

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"enlarger My wife suggested I get a penis enlarger. So I did, she's 25 and her name is Tiffany"
"Baby oil If olive oil is made from olives, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?"
"Two dinosaurs walk into a bar.. I couldn't believe it. (Got this from a comedy show)"
"What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch? Matt"
"You know how after you get off a boat, your body still feels like it's on the boat for a while after? I'm like that with beds."
"""...and I would've won if it weren't for you meddling minorities, women, gays, young people..."" - Mitt Romney #ScoobyDooVillain"
"Ambushed my mother-in-law After visiting our house my mother-in-law got ambushed by 6 men who starting punching her. My wife shouted ""Are you gonna help?"", I said ""6 should be enough!"""
"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* ""HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN"" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*"
"Jokes about white sugar are rare... but brown sugar, Demerara."