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Joke of the Day

"The best revenge is living well, unless you own a flamethrower."

"I had phone sex for the first time the other day... My dick got stuck in the 8! I tried to dial 911 but that just made it worse! It was a rotary!"

"I thought I pocket dialed you... But it was just a clothes call."

"Click here for spoilers Microorganisms Humidity Light Heat"

"[In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle"

"Britney Spears' career That's the joke."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle."

"You are not truly drunk until you have a jar of peanut butter in your hand and your looking for the dog"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Athena ! Athena who ? Athena reindeer landing on your roof !"

"My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat."