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Joke of the Day

"Senior year of high school is a lot like a retirement home... You don't work anymore, you hate everyone who's younger than you, and in a few months, all of your old friends will be dead to you."

Next Joke
 
"Why does Pinocchio tell lies? Because he's a fucking liar."
"Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to cover his whopper"
"Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles? The Betty Ford Clinic"
"What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song? Just Ants. Credit: My friend, the PUNisher."
"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"
"Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships? Because they'd miss each other."
"With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces."
"Don't expect a ""bless you"" after you sprayed me down with your sneeze."
"They say a woman knows after 7 seconds whether or not she wants to have sex... Good thing I only last 5."