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Joke of the Day
"Ever heard of the DNA? National Dyslexic Association."
Next Joke
"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"
"I applied to Hogwarts the a few weeks back. Unfortunately, I didn't get accepted. Figured I could just Slytherin."
"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."
"I lasted an hour and 15 seconds in sex yesterday. thanks you daylight savings"
"What's the best insult you can tell someone?"
"I hope people think my toddler has a slight English accent bc we're so cultured and not bc she's basically been raised by Peppa Pig"
"I was sitting on my dolphin, then I fell off. Butt not on porpoise."
"If you're unsure if you're pregnant or not that's called a maby"
"two fish in a tank. one says to the other... **how do you drive this thing?**"