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Joke of the Day

"Sitting in traffic wishing I had a Sasquatch to lean out of the passenger window and make police car noises."

"A guy asks his grandmother... ""Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD"". Granny replies, ""Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"""

"I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10am I'm not a mourning person."

"What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty? Faith lifts"

"I heard a great Ray Rice joke... but I can't remember the punchline."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Chernobyl Barbie ...glows in the dark"

"As a gay male, just once, I wish someone would ask me how I like my coffee. Them: Hey, how do you like your coffee? Me: Like I love my men! Them: Oh, Black? Me: No, anally!"

"The Art of Button-collecting by Zipporah Broaken"

"Senior year of high school is a lot like a retirement home... You don't work anymore, you hate everyone who's younger than you, and in a few months, all of your old friends will be dead to you."

"Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that."