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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a shitty journal? A Diarrhea."

"I think i'm going to be famous! I met Jimmy Savile when I was young and I think he rubbed off on me!"

"What do you get when a ghost takes a crap? Rectoplasm."

"If I was a roofer I'd go around saying I'm single and ready to shingle."

"I an expert on everything as long as I have google within reach and I don't like you enough to want to prove you wrong."

"I'm thinking about opening one of those ""pray away the gay"" clinics just so I can name it ""God Save the Queen."""

"Restaurant At restaurant, We wait for a waiter to bring order... Aren,t we waiter too..."

"I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term ""all caps""."

"My dad would always say this, I don't know if this classifies as a joke, but it's funny I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest Also: That smell could knock a buzzard off a shitpile"

"I texted and drive sometimes I guess we all do stupid things when we're drunk"