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Joke of the Day

"Nothing brings neighbors together, like a broken elevator."

"You can't spell success without succ... But you'd probably get neither to be honest"

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"Apparently, Donald Trump is currently being treated for Electile dysfunction and premature congratulations. Isn't it Hillaryous!"

"Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."

"Lets write a joke I'll give you of two the punch lines, you give me the setup: Punch line #1: That's the line time I'll go to that bar. Punch line #2: Liquor, I don't even like her."

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."

"No thanks, body wraps. If I believed magic would make me thinner, I'd eat a wizard."

"If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before."

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my license plate before I ran down all the people I hate"