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Joke of the Day
"What do you call five tomatoes? A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER."
Next Joke
"How many potatos does it take to kill an Irishman? None....."
"Relationship status: outside my wife's window, holding John Cusack over my head."
"Gotta hand it to babies... ...because their short, stupid little arms can't reach anything"
"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"
"What concert costs 45 cents? Fifty Cent and Nickleback"
"Why can't Jesus eat pizza? Because he doesn't exist."
"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."
"you remember me as the guy who put his arm in the doorway to hold open the automatic door for you in 2009. welll, now i need a favor"
"Went in for a prostate exam... I asked the doctor where I should put my pants. ""Right over there with mine""..."