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Joke of the Day

"One for the science guys: Q) How do you make a hormone? A) Don't pay her!"

"""Good morning, class. Today we are going to learn about diseases. Can anyone give me a sentence containing the word cancer'?"" ""I can, Sir!"""

"Trying to motivate myself to go for a run, but it's windy outside. And outside."

"There was a paradox... And ***Theseus*** parked his ***ship*** right in-between them. "

"OC: My wife recently caught me receiving a hand-job from a circus soothsayer. It was truly a stroke of Miss Fortune."

"Why did the lady stare at the orange juice? Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!"

"How many pork chops does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know; it's lard to tell."

"What's the difference between a blonde and your job? Your job still sucks after 6 months."

"I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm."

"23% of traffic accidents involve cell phone use, but 77% do NOT involve cell phone use. Statistics don't lie. It's safer to use your phone."