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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes you have to make a stand. Not there though. You're blocking the TV."
Next Joke
"Sausage and bacon in a frying pan. Sausage says to the bacon: ""It's pretty hot here."" Bacon says: ""Oh my god! A talking sausage !!"""
"How does procrastination start? I'll tell you tomorrow."
"What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning? ""Go Ahead Make My Day"""
"Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving? The Redskins"
"I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends."
"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac Guac"
"Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!"
"4 different views of a tunnel PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."
"How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub? 100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is."