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Joke of the Day

"My wife was proud that I admitted to also being married to someone else ...she said it was big of me"

"(Hot babe to me) your brooding drives me wild, what's going on inside your head (Me, thinking about a panini) I don't want to talk about it"

"The bartender says..... ""We don't serve faster-than-light particles here!"" A tachyon enters a bar."

"Remember the game where you would take turns yelling, ""Penis!"" in public? Life was so simple before 9/11."

"Why couldn't Donald Trump cross the road? Because a wall was blocking his way"

"Dark humor is a lot like food... Not everyone gets it"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who are you?"

"Why do sharks like stoners? Because they're baked snacks."

"Kevin, children are allowed to order pizzas. You don't have to make the delivery guy think he's being shot at by gangsters. For christ sake."

"I find myself addicted to this website just like my Father before me. Guess why that is? It's He*reddit*tary."