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Joke of the Day
"The person who owns Hovis is from my local area. Born and bred."
Next Joke
"You can't lose a homing pigeon... If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon."
"I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him"
"I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue."
"A teen girl is talking to her mother about the birds and the bees. She asks her mother if it's possible to get pregnant from anal sex. The mother says, ""Why yes, that's how lawyers are born!"""
"Hey, parents. Stop raising children and start raising adults."
"[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport Whoops, wrong bus"
"Why don't parrot's like black people? Because Polly wants a cracker."
"Chris Christies mom told him to run. She didn't mean for president though..."
"Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me."