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Joke of the Day

"[Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor] Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself. Wife: Me: Will you ki Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo"

"Why did Chewbacca cross the road? WWWRRRRRRGWWWRRRR!"

"Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road? Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this"

"Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time? Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself."

"I have an abstract joke... But I just can't seem to get it."

"[At a psychic fair] Psychic: Ask whatever you want to know. Success? Work? Love? Money? Me: Can you tell me where my car keys are?"

"Did you know that Matthew Broderick was the first Iron Man in the movies? He was Ferrous Bueller."

"what gets uglier the more you watch it? yo momma stripping"

"If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye."

"Dear posters of /r/jokes, can't you be a bit more original with your posts? My friends say they are tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again."