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Joke of the Day
"""I haven't accomplished much but I will harshly judge the hard work of others"" -Critics"
Next Joke
"What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce? Chicken sees a salad"
"Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you're just like... nah"
"A man bets his wife she can't tell him something that will make him happy and sad at the same time. ""You have the biggest penis out of all your friends"" replies the wife."
"You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic"
"I set up a camera in my room like in paranormal activity but it's just 8 hours of me waving & walking down imaginary stairs behind my bed."
"What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter? One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter"
"""It's a boy!"" I shouted, tears rolling down my face. ""I don't believe it. A boy!"" It was at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again."
"Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean."
"If we've learned one thing from this whole Ray Rice ordeal, it's that... ...you should always take the stairs."