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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border? To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds."

"*knock knock* ""Sir, this is the police, open the door immediately"" ""But I'm having a poo"" ""We know sir, the phone box has glass sides"""

"No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom."

"Last night I dreamed about eating a huge cotton candy. When I woke up, my pillow was missing."

"Today I fucked up... by being a power bottom"

"Twitter should have "" Throwing tomato"" button."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they are all Targets."

"Why is having phone sex such a bad idea? There's a good chance you'll get hearing AIDS"

"""Superman's Dad"" is the last stop for an actor."

"Three stages of life. * Birth * What the hell is going on?!? * Death"