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Joke of the Day

"Banned From the Para-Olympics Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40."

"Who forgot his phone charger today? THIS gu"

"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end."

"You're a vegetarian who eats fish? I guess that makes sense since bears are basically vegetarians."

"My smart phone has a lot of capabilities, but none as valuable as being able to pretend I'm on it when I run into someone I know in public."

"I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them."

"What costs you more the less you spend on it? A divorce lawyer."

"My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mick Jagger Barbie ...Mick with Barbie's head...but Mick's lips"

"What did one ISIS member say to another? ""IED mubarak.."""