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Joke of the Day

"I'll tell you what i know about dwarves Very little. Its okay, i can say that. They look up to me."

"KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub."

"NSFW Why was the guitar teacher arrested? He got caught fingering a minor"

"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."

"Hello (Sorry for my English)"

"I've been dying to see Age of Ultron But then I just googled ""How old is Ultron"" and found out he's 47. Saved me $10."

"""Well gentlemen... the steaks are high."" *two steaks giggle* ""Hehehe omfg he totally knows, man..."""

"One of my friends went up to my Portuguese dad.... and asked ""You're Portuguese, right?"" He said ""No, I'm Portugoose. There's is only one of me"""

"On your own, it's just near impossible to scrub your own back which is why a shower wall made entirely of loofah would really come in handy."

"When the guy at Subway asks what type of bread you'd like, say cookies. When he laughs, ask to speak to the manager."