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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys heard about the pedophile terrorist? Just last week he exploded all over a kids face."

"Roses... Roses are red My name is not Dave This makes no sense Microwave *Drops Mic*"

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"

"Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance."

"A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Benjamin. Benjamin Who? Yes, Benjamin Netanya Who."

"How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months."

"Muhammad Ali walks into a bar So Muhammad Ali walks into a bar and orders a drink. He gives the bartender ceramic money. The Bartender says ""I can't accept this your Cash Is Clay"""

"I want to make medical bracelets that say ""In case of emergency, delete browser history"""

"All I'm saying is if the toilet still flushes when the power and gas goes out, why don't we run more things on toilet power?"