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Joke of the Day

"Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda. You look stupid and you get nothing out of it."

"Why are rubber tires black? So the police know what to shoot at during a chase"

"Dear Adobe, my HOLY SHIT LEAVE ME ALONE is ready to install."

"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""

"My uncle Died after having a stroke... right as he came he had a heart attack."

"My waterslide technique has been described as 'oafish', 'dangerous' and 'how did you get into the penguin enclosure'."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the P is silent"

"We're all sex addicts. Some of us just have better dealers."

"What's a feminists favorite music festival? Burning Man."

"I had to pick a password that was 8 characters long. I went with 'snowwhiteandthesevendwarves'."