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Joke of the Day

"[Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia."

"If Subway had put an extra piece of cheese on every sandwich without telling the customer, I wonder how many of those kids would've been able to outrun Jared."

"""ok start it up"" tktktk-puh-buurup-chk-a-chk ""give it some gas"" ss-ss-icka-icka-grrawh-pshhhh any ideas? ""I can't hear over you beatboxing"""

"Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?"

"What's a sheep's favorite type of alcohol? Mutton-schnapps."

"James is coming over. ""James from work or James who thinks he's a leprechaun?"" J: TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA! ""I'll hide the Lucky Charms."""

"Death is not the end. You still have to dispose of the body and hide the evidence."

"We've all heard of Whistler's Mother.... But what about Whistler's Father? I guess you could say that he's out of the picture."

"So girl on a scale of 1 to America how free are you tonight? North Korea."

"So my friend asked if I wanted to hear a corny joke... So I said, ""I'm all ears!"""