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Joke of the Day

"Why do you always follow your instinct when doing trigonometry? Beacuse you might have secant thoughts and go off on a tangent"

"I worked a 10-hour day today... Sounds impressive to non-programmers who don't know binary."

"Doctor and Patient Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"

"lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?"

"If I was a fashion designer Id call myself ""who"" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say ""Who?"" ""Yes who?"" ""Yes."""

"What did the terrorist say when he woke up? It was Allah dream."

"Travel Agent: Hello sir! Interested in a vacation? Me: *puts cat on the phone* [20 mins later] Travel Agent: I've got you booked for Maui"

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something."

"My friends think I have a black sense of humour I don't know what they're talking about... In my view it's golden."

"What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21? Down's in the dumps"