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Joke of the Day
"My boyfriend is so cute I decided to get another."
Next Joke
"Most populated places in the world: 1. China 2. India 3. United States 4. Indonesia 5. Friend Zone 6. Hell"
"Just read that California leads the nation in depression cases and adultery. What a sad state of affairs."
"Goodbye things in my apartment. Have fun coming to life and talking to each other. I'll be back around 6 pm."
"I tried smoking mushrooms today.. ..but the pizza sauce kept putting the lighter out."
"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :("
"I'm such a tightass when it comes to going to the proctologist. Gotta pay out the ass."
"*hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it."
"Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand."
"""Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun."" - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you."