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Joke of the Day

"[hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*"

"What do you call a fast zombie? A zoombie."

"Why do we need art? Because the Earth without art is just ""Eh""."

"Why did the French construct the Maginot Line? To keep the Nazis in Czech!"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? ""Keep the tip"""

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age"

"Did you hear about the French Olympic race walker who pooped his pants mid race? At least he didn't oui in them too."

"If a woman asks if you ""notice anything new"" tell her ""I do, your beauty surprises me every day."" Then continue thinking about velociraptors"

"Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida."

"What do you call when a female physicist decides to try dating women for a change? The double slit experiment."