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Joke of the Day

"I work at an investment firm We got a new CIO to head up the Agriculture/Farm investment team. He reports to the EIEIO."

"It is said that the Welsh were the first to use condoms, by making them out of sheep intestines. But the English perfected this technique by removing them from the sheep first."

"NSFW Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed? Hubby: Yes I love that trick you do with your mouth. Wife: What trick? Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep!"

"I was about make a Sodium Joke... But Na"

"Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but he wants them toupee."

"I just hired a new employee and he claimed it has been months since his last bowel movement. Needless to say one way or another, he's full of shit."

"Is there a button you can push to take back when you're accidentally nice to someone, so they know you still hate them?"

"Skunks Roses are red. Violets are blue. If skunks had a college They'd call it P.U."

"What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A Synonym Roll."

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."